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Sacrifice and Love...What Do You Think?

Love is what still goes on when you're not horny. --Robert A. Heinlein

For those who have read my blog about the 90s, you know that one of my favorite shows growing up was the show Boy Meets World. In one of the these episodes, Feeny describes a relationship he's had with a woman for years: they meet up once a year, discuss what's different with their lives and ask the other to move so they can marry and be together. Neither is willing to move and I believe he makes a statement consisting of the fact that neither is willing to make such a sacrifice so they must not be in love. It has been a while, so please forgive my forgetfulness. Either way this brings me to a couple of questions.

1. What do you believe is the one sacrifice you have made or could make for another person?

I have taken my cue from Feeny and his girl. Location is important to me, career is important to me and  the biggest sacrifice I could make is realizing I would stay in one spot or move wherever I needed to for this person to pursue their dreams or current opportunities. Every relationship is different and ultimately it comes down to what is not only best for each person, but the two. Even if you don't make the sacrifice or you have to give this person up for some reason, there is something in realizing you would do this with no resentment for another person. Doing it with resentment is no sacrifice, but something that will cause you to hate each other in the future. 

2. How do you know when a person loves or cares about you?

Strangely, this is a simple one for me. When a person knows the ways in which I like to drink my coffee or tea. For instance, my latte is fixed a certain way, my coffee is fixed a different way, and my tea is made in a very specific and different way than any other. There are people who like coffee made different according to different coffee shops and types of coffee. A person who remembers these things is showing a special interest and shows they care for a person.

Before my boyfriend and I started dating he would leave his house and drive all the way to the other side of town just to bring me coffee. I never asked, he just did it (at 2am). When we were dating he would bring me coffee from Starbucks all the way across town (the only one open after midnight) and drive it to me so I could study, then he would leave almost immediately after as to not distract me. This was a giant triangular pattern he would do consisting of at least an hour and a half drive. You don't do things like that unless you care for someone. I hope.

I wrote an entire blog on friendship and how important it is to me and I believe it still is important. As I get older I am starting to realize that relationships with people that you are dating are also important and possibly more important. Don't be one of those ass faces that forgets their friends with a relationship, because I hate those people. Instead, think of it this way...if this relationship is important enough that you could see a future, such as marriage, kids, or double suicide (Romeo and Juliet), it might be time to see them as a priority. With a little luck this person will also be your friend so it's two for the price of one. 

Another thought...if you really love the person, is it really a sacrifice?


  1. "Love is like an onion. And you peel away layer after stinky layer until you are just weeping over the sink.”

    Pete (30 Rock)


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